How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
