i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
