idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
