apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
