I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
