420 ftw
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
