Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
