oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Please don't give away my fajitas
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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