I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
