It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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