Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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