You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
