Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
