Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
