God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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