But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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