I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
