I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
