I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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