And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
