I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
