hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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