I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize