He told me they were just razor bumps!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
