My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
