Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
