if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
