he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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