Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
