he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
