Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
