in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
