I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
