Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
