my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
