i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
