she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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