I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
