Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
