So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
