She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
