maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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