Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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