Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
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