are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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