just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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