Where is the hickey?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
