You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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