I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
