when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Randomize
