do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
If I die, sorry about rent.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
