Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
