I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
