We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm always down for nudity.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize