My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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