They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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