hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize