i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
