...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think your dad took our porno
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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