Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
