OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Randomize
