I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
